Certain parts of life are undeniable truths. That does not make them easy. No matter how much you fight, resist, or struggle, there are certain facts of life that you cannot make go away.

Sometimes we fight with ourselves.  We have entire arguments in our own heads.

Sometimes we fight with others.  Sometimes we fight just to prove we are ‘right.’

Sometimes we fight with reality.  We do not like the situation, so we make our best attempt to change it.

Sometimes we fight because we do not have control and we want said control.

Sometimes it feels like we’re just always fighting. 

And, many times, when we are not fighting, we are overwhelmed, we are worrying, procrastinating, or just wishing for something.  We are struggling.

I am here to tell you right now – I am here to give you permission to stop fighting, to stop struggling, to just for a brief moment let it all go and breathe into this present moment. 

Right now, get out of your head.  Stop thinking about all of it.  Right now, stop setting expectations, stop shooting for ideal, stop comparing, and stop sitting is discomfort.  Let it all go, just for right now. 

Take a few long and slow deep breaths and allow yourself to have a better life, at least in this very moment.  Be here with me right now and read about some of life’s truths.

Much of Your Life is Out of Your Control

You cannot control the weather.  You cannot control how your spouse behaves.  You cannot control what your children say, do, or do not do.  You cannot control whether your mother-in-law likes you.  You cannot control whether your sister criticizes you or not.  Simply put, you cannot control other people. 

In addition, you cannot control all the things that happen in life.  Oftentimes, disappointment comes from unmet expectations.  When you set an expectation about how something is supposed to go or the way it should happen, when your expectation is not met, you feel unhappy, let down, or maybe even frustrated or angry.  Likely, your “plan” of how something should go was not completely in your control. 

We can, however, control ourselves.  We can control how we act and how we react.  How we react to life or respond to the things that are out of our control, is where our power lies. 

Your personal power comes from deciding how you are going to act and react. 

Worrying is Wasted Time

Worry is being fearful about something in the future that may or may not happen.  Worrying is like being stuck in “what if?”  Worrying will not prompt something to happen, nor will it prevent something from happening. 

Actively worrying is wasted energy.  Being stuck in thoughtful worry, concerned worry, or even loving worry, keeps you inactive.  Worrying is the precursor to anxiety, both of which can be paralyzing and inhibit forward movement or progress.  Worry is mostly being stuck in fear. 

Mere worry is costly.  It uses your time and your energy, yet you get nothing in return for it.  Worry does not serve you. 

If you catch your undisciplined mind running wild with rogue, worrisome thoughts, get a hold of yourself.  Remind yourself that worrying will not change any outcome.  Remind yourself that your time will be better spent doing something within your control.  Then, take action, any action that puts you in a more useful, healthier state of mind.

Hurt and Pain are Inevitable

There is light and there is dark.  There is hot and there is cold. There is Spring and there is Fall.  There is yin and there is yang.  You get the point.

In life, we experience both pleasant and unpleasant.  We experience positive and negative and good and bad.   We experience both happiness and joy and hurt and pain.  It is part of being human. 

In our humanness, we try to avoid hurt and pain and hope and wish for more happiness and goodness.  However, all of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly make up our human life. 

If you can accept now, on the front-end, that hurt and pain are an inevitable part of life, you can resist it less, fight against it less, and accept it as natural and temporary, just like the seasons, or just like happiness and joy.  It will come and it will go.  When it is there, just let it be there.  Let it flow through you instead of fighting against it, which only causes more suffering. 

Let hurt be hurt.  Let pain be pain.  Let them come and let them go as opposed to growing them into suffering. 

Change is Inevitable

Life does not stay the same.  Nor do you.  You do not stay the same.  Ever.  Life continues to grow.

Think of a plant, maybe a tree or a flower.  It starts as a seed and grows into a big, beautiful living thing.  It is constantly growing into a bigger, better version of itself, unless of course, it is dying.  Even then, whether it is in a growing state or dying state, it is ever-so-slowly, constantly changing.  We, humans, do the same thing.

Some change is easy and some change is hard.  Some change is chosen and other change is forced upon you.  Nevertheless, if you can accept that change is inevitable and you can lean into change, it will be easier on you. 

Accept more.  Resist less.  When you accept change as part of your human evolution, you will view life differently.  What you once saw as a challenge, you might now view it as an opportunity for growth and development.  You can view and embrace change with positive energy as opposed to meeting and greeting it with resistance, fear, or dread. 

• When change presents itself, whether by choice or by force, can you meet it with curiosity instead of aversion? 
• Can you see it as an opportunity instead of being stuck in stagnation?  
• Can you let go of what is and embrace what is to come next? 
• Can you choose some of your change and design your destiny as opposed to being run by life or what is happening around you?

Changing your perception will change your life.

Some People’s Lives are Cut Short

You, nor I, will live forever.  We know people who have died “way too early.”  We know people who “died young.”  We do not know when it will be our turn or when someone close to us will be their turn.  Of all the things we know in life, we do not know how long we will live. 

Though you cannot necessarily control how long you live, you can control HOW you live.  You can control how you spend your life.  You can control who you spend your life with.  You can control what you do with your days.  You can control how deeply you live. 

No matter the length of your life, whether it be long or short, you can live deeply within it.  You can live fully. 

How you spend your minutes is how you spend your days.  How you spend your days is how you spend your weeks.  How you spend your weeks is how you spend your years. 

So, how will you spend your next moments?  How will you spend the rest of your day?

Closing Thoughts About These Facts of Life

Who knows what tomorrow brings.  But today, in this present moment, you can be mindful and your next step can be of your choosing.  You can focus on what you can control, and let go of what you cannot control.   You can take steps that make your life interesting, fulfilling, and rewarding.  You can drop the fighting and resistance and pick options that are healthy and productive for you. 

Your life today can be better than your life yesterday. 

Do you struggle with any of the points listed above?  How do you deal with them?  Are there other facts of life or truths that you have learned over the years? 

Reply below.  Share your thoughts.  Share your insights.  I’d love to hear from you.

p.s. You are not alone in your struggles. All humans struggle. Read this blog post about how humans are unified by struggle.