We are afraid of what we cannot see.  We are afraid of the dark.  However, there is not a boogeyman in every dark closet.  There is not an armed murderer in every dark alleyway.  And there is not a bad situation waiting for us around the corner just because we cannot see it.

Fear is a state of mind that has to be controlled, otherwise, it will control you.  You can control your fears or be paralyzed by them. 

Fear of the unknown, or being afraid of something that might happen, is worry.  It is being uneasy about a situation that may or may not happen.  Worry is unproductive.

An undisciplined mind can be filled with both fears and worries.  Both fear and worry inhibit and prevent you from being your best self. 

Consider that, in many cases, fear is a choice. 

Innately Afraid of the Dark Unknown

Fear is our protector. Fear arises when we sense a threat or an attack. If our brains and bodies sense any type of threat, our senses awaken and we have a heightened sense of awareness. The primal parts of ourselves are ready to fight. We are ready to defend ourselves against whatever is threatening us. Our primal brains automatically put us into some level of fight/flight/freeze/fawn response mode.

In most cases, the fear we experience regularly is not caused by situations that our ancestors once had to experience. Our 21st-century selves are not fighting lions and tigers. We do not sleep in places that leave us vulnerable to bears, bobcats, are any other dangerous critter. We most likely will not wake up to someone having stolen our cattle, pigs, or sheep.

Many of our fears today come from experiences that put us out of our comfort zone. When “something does not feel right,” it may not be right. Or, it may be a healthy situation that simply has pushed you out of your comfort zone and if used correctly, you could grow and benefit from it. Nonetheless, that message is like a red flair, a puff of smoke, a warning signal that you can look at and decide if and how to act on it.

Fear of Discomfort

A common fear these days is the fear of being uncomfortable. Many people in today’s modern world, have built their lives or are striving to build their lives to get to a “comfortable spot.” This comfortable spot implies more ease, more met needs and desires, less struggle, and less fear.

Since we are not out foraging for food, fighting off wild animals, and collecting wood to burn as our only source of heat before the winter sets in, we have the luxury to build “comfortable” lives. Because so many people these days “live comfortably,” any threat of discomfort, any threat of being pushed out of your comfort zone, triggers a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, although the size of the response can vary.

Discomfort varies for individuals but discomfort in general usually sparks fear. We are not just afraid of the worst circumstances that our minds can conjure up. Our fears vary, and yet, our fears are real. Can you identify with any of these fears?

• Fear of lack, fear of not having enough, or fear of losing something
• Fear of not being enough in some way – fear of being unsatisfactory or insufficient.
• Fear of failure or fear of not reaching your fullest potential
• Fear of embarrassment, shame, or rejection
• Fear of something bad waiting for you that is coming in the future, that you cannot see yet.

The fear of the unknown, the discomfort of discomfort, the blanket of dread, anxiety, and worry may not be serving you. This fear, potentially non-threatening, made up, manufactured, and potentially unnecessary, could be keeping you hidden from your happiness. You could be hiding in the dark – from the dark – only to limit yourself.

Basic Science of Darkness

Darkness is simply the absence of light.  Darkness, or black, is a complete lack of illumination. 

The color black, or darkness is not scary all by itself.  Darkness is not scary until people or society trains us to be afraid of it. 

Cultural Training on Darkness

Think about our society.  Think about how light and darkness are portrayed or represented in literature, in the arts, in philosophy, and religion. 

We know that light is the opposite of dark.  Society uses light and dark contrast to train our thoughts around the concepts of light and darkness. 

We are trained to associate light with goodness, hope, joy, peace, happiness, compliance, general well-being, and the like. 

Darkness is associated with shadows, unhappiness, heaviness, depression, evil, or an ominous, foreboding feeling. 

While light is portrayed as generally good, darkness is associated with pessimism, negativity, or general “badness.” 

When the Lights Go Out  

Many people, though not all, find excitement and joy in the beauty of the lights of the Christmas holiday season, those lights get taken down and darkness returns.  The long, cold, winter nights are hard on some people.  The dreaded, dark, winter season, though difficult and maybe even disorienting and disconnecting, is a necessary part of our existence.

Darkness is a natural rhythm of life.

The four seasons – winter, spring, summer, and fall – all play an essential and important role in life on earth.  Each of them is natural, required, and purposeful. 

We are trained to think that darkness is bad, but that is not necessarily the case.

• Seeds germinate under the earth, in darkness.
• Humans and many animals form and grow in the womb, in darkness.
• Other animals grow in eggs, in darkness
• Our bodies reorganize, restore, regenerate, and revitalize themselves during sleep, in darkness.
• Wounds heal in darkness.
• Transmutation happens in darkness.

Darkness is not an enemy.  Fear of darkness or perception of darkness is more problematic than darkness itself. 

Light at the End of the Tunnel

When the candle flame burns out, when the sun sets and the night is dark, the magic happens. 

The darkness itself is not something to fear.

Instead of feeling out of control and powerless in the darkness, what if you surrendered to it knowing it might be an essential part of your life?

Knowing you evolve in darkness, can you surrender to the stillness? 

Can you let go of the reigns knowing you need this season of life to prepare you for the next one? 

Can you be open to the nourishment the darkness provides?   

Can you not resist this season and relish in the transmutation of yourself? 

Can you allow yourself to regenerate, repair, and rejuvenate?

What is there to learn in this darkness? Can you surrender to this growth model?

The tunnel of darkness, though, both daunting and healing, has an end.  And, at every ending, there is a new beginning. 

And, the cycle continues.  Light and darkness.  Evolution and transmutation.  Endings and beginnings.  And, fear, can or cannot be a part of it.  Your choice.  Being afraid of the dark is a choice.